Essays and Theories
Essays and Theories
From my second story condo, I have, what I would consider, a perfect perch for
viewing the activities that occur around our complex's swimming pool. In the Summer
months, it is a swirl of activities; of families, couples, and singles enjoying the sun
and cool relief of the water. There once was a beautiful young lady who loved to use the
pool. I remember the first time I saw her, lying in the warm Colorado summer sun. Somehow
she seemed to capture my eyes and my imagination like no other before her. Maybe it was
because my wife was out of town and I missed the closeness of her companionship; maybe, it
was the full moon. Maybe, sighting her from a distance, caused my genes to cascade
hormones through my body, turning emotions off and on.
Her skin, when applied with oil, shone with a perfect golden hue as the oil mixed with her
sweat. Her face, as I remember it, was the finest example of angelic beauty a man could
create from a distance. Her hair was long and sun bleached blonde; it sometimes laid
beside her in a river of golden threads or she hung it over the lounge chair's edge like a
soft waterfall. Her breasts were ample and firm; her nipples, even from a distance, seemed
to be large and hard when she emerged into the chill air from the pool. Her long, well
defined, muscular legs moved her across the pool area in a deliberate show of assets, as
if she knew she was being judged by all present, and those of us she knew to be looking
from afar. The curves of her hips and firm buttocks brought forth images in my mind of
erotic nights and audible calls of passion; highlighted creamy flesh emerged from a
fantasy of near tan lines and the smell of coconut.
Then she took off her prosthesis.
As she made a minor adjustment to the device, a left forearm, I was swept with a feeling
of remorse. The healthy, innocent, erotic images that had grown in my mind in the darkened
room suddenly vanished. The brain chemistry that represented guilt flooded my brain in an
instant. My brain had quickly visited those areas of my stored morality memories, which
when mixed would create the instant flood of emotions in which I now found myself. How
could I have been so cruel to have let my passions overtake my compassionate heart? How
insensitive could I be? If only I had known! Man, what a freaking jerk I was! I have seen
her occasionally around the complex since that day, but when I have seen her again, the
knowledge of the missing limb seems to haunt an area in the back of my mind. I cannot see
her the same way that I did the first time. Why not?
I began to ask myself a series of logical evolutionary questions that I viewed from the
perspective of transformed Darwinism: evolutionary psychology. Why was I having these
nagging doubts about this young woman? She, in our highly technological world, would
obviously be able to perform almost any physical task necessary. Why did the sudden
realization of her missing forearm create a negative response in my male mind? I mean, was
there some deep, pre-wired information about the physical requirements of a primal mate?
Was there a specific area in my brain storing information concerning and comparing skin,
hair, head, teeth, arms, legs, breasts, and buttocks? Was there an area for woman as well
as for men? And, if so, where is it located? I believe that there is such an area for men
and a separate one for women, but at this time I am not ready to elaborate.
Getting back to our aquatic pool mate, I instantly made a snap rejection judgment about
the physical capabilities of this potential life mate. In a heartbeat I went from almost
naturally selecting her, to naturally rejecting her as a mate. Instantly, to the deeply
stored knowledge in my brain, she was no longer the woman who caught my eye and boar my
genes into the next generation. She was no longer worthy of my possession. She was no
longer the woman who would be envied by all the other young males and lift my status in
the clan. In my ancestral mind, she became incapable of carrying children on her right
hip. She was transformed into a female who could no longer carry heavy wood for the
campfire; she could not gather fruits and nuts to store away for the winter months; nor,
judged by my ancient mind, was she adequate to maintain the household hearth. By bearing
children she could not properly care for, she instantly became more of a burden than an
asset. Suddenly, she became a less desirable female, one to be left to drift to the outer
edges of the herd. Her best avenue for survival would be perhaps to find a family that
would be willing to help to provide for her in exchange for helping raise another female's
children. Another possibility would be to become part of a harem. This choice would amount
to exchanging sex for protection. Her last alternative would be to find a male of lower
status. His strength would perhaps be minimal due to an injury or birth defect. In any
case, they both most likely would be forced to the outer edges of the herd. No one has
said that our early female ancestors' life was easy. Feminists today tell us that little
has changed.
Now let's suppose for a moment that we have selected someone that we would like as a mate.
Once our eyes and minds are captured by someone we find attractive, and we begin to make
outward movement towards this individual as a potential mating partner, something happens.
When we "naturally select" or focus attraction, we "naturally reject"
all other candidates. When you make a "natural selection," you set several
events into motion. Your actions effect yourself, the person you have selected, and the
people you have "rejected." Now this is very important here -- when our
ancestors made their selection, their natural habitat was the small social herd grouping.
When a selection was made, the whole herd knew who was mating with whom. And in our
earlier stages of development, they most likely mated in full view of the herd. Since
every one knew whom was selected, they also knew who was not selected. It may not seem
that you have rejected anyone, because your sex hormones have begun to activate, and you
are too busy focusing on the events that are about to occur. But this essay is about the
rejection part of the mating process. What happens when beautiful people reject our
advances or fail to flirt back and we become "rejected?" Simply put, it hurts
emotionally. And the crux of this essay, is to ask, why?
When one is rejected in the mating selection process one feels a sense of loss, of not
being able to obtain the goal of our innate mating objectives. We become saddened because
we will not be allowed to feel the comfort associated with being close to a loved one. The
chemical "balance" of being wanted and needed by a potential mate is very
desirable. The linking of one's soul to another gives us a anchor in uncertain times. It
gives justification and motivation to provide and care for one's mate and one's children.
It is our passage to the next world. It is our claim to perpetuity. In the mating process,
our innate feelings drive us to find that someone, because the locating of a mate is a
milestone in our lives. We search for a mate because it help's to bring stability to our
lives. From this stability, we then begin to focus our attention to building those events
that enhance our lives and the lives of our future children. Most of us don't stay sad for
long when we are rejected. The process of being rejected by a potential mate means not
only negative feelings and a blow to our self-image, but the frustration of having to make
the search all over again. It means going on another diet or exercise program; joining a
social group to meet new possibilities; going to new places and doing new things. I
theorize that, in terms of evolutionary psychology, our depression at rejection is caused
by the unconscious realization that we have slipped one step closer to being pushed out of
the circle that forms a core social grouping among primates-- one small step away from
feeling secure--to one step closer to death and extinction.
Let me lead you into the next point. Conventional wisdom, or group thought, has brought us
today to believe in Darwin's natural selection. We all seem to be in agreement that a
young, "beautiful" or "handsome" person is a sign of a
"healthy" person, capable of long life and "good" genes. We equate
smooth skin as free of disease; good muscularity as strength and "fitness." Any
sporting ability such as grace in movement and skill are counted as pluses in the genetic
competitive race. Nothing is overlooked in our pre-wired brains when it comes time for us
to find a mate. Now think of this: the mating dance only occurs when our bodies are ready
for it to occur. Hormones are the time-released capsules of genetic code. Circumstances of
our genes and environment make it early for some, and later for others. Mexican-American
and African-American teenage females seem to reach puberty sooner than their Caucasian
cousins in the general population. My theory is that because of these cultural
environments, Mexican-American and African American mothers may inadvertently be
"forcing" (by hints or actual words) the young females in their house to leave
in order to increase resources their households. The other factors may include the social
group activities of their clan or barrio/ghetto histories. In these cases, I believe that
environmental forces are advancing the arrival of puberty. There is so much more to learn.
Also on the subject of fertility timing, see Chisholm,"Death, Hope and Sex: Life
History Theory and the Development of Reproductive Strategies," Current
Anthropology-34"1-46, and Geronimus,"What Teen Mothers Know,"
Human Nature-Vol. 7, No. 4, 96.
Since I opened this essay with a tale of male erotica to keep you awake through a
boring essay, I did want to end with equal time for my female readers. However, I find
that the imagery and stored information just isn't there. The attempts that I did make at
creating such a scenario, seemed, well -- phony. Studies just released have confirmed what
woman have known for some time: that 50 years of sexual fantasy studies have been totally
blind to the yearnings of woman. Not just sexual fantasies, but any body part, be it the
heart, lungs, or any other vital organs. Let's face it, in the past male medical
researchers have pushed studies of female bodies to the category of
"unimportant." Hopefully, now that the argument has been laid on the table,
things will change for the better.
In either case, as I close this essay, I want to remind all of you Cindy Crawford and Brad
Pitt types (of course, please fill in your fantasy mate), to occasionally take a homely
person home with you. You will make the planet a happier place. It is your duty!
As an excellent study done on the biological basis of sex and love, please read
Dr Helen E. Fisher's work in the journal Human Nature: An Interdisciplinary Biosocial
Perspective, Vol 9, No 1, 1998 pg. 23. The title of the study is: "Lust,
Attraction & Attachement in Mammalian Reproduction. (that includes the person who is
reading this!) Dr. Fisher is a research associate in the Anthropology department at
Rutgers University.
Origin: June 1995
Updated: May, 1998
Former Title: Natural Refection and Evolutionary Psychology.©
Copyright, Evolution's Voyage & William A. Spriggs 1995 - 2011